Comments on: How Do We Decide What Success Is?

By: Jason D Barr

Jason D Barr — Thu, 03 Sep 2009 16:29:08 +0000

I wrote a lot about that very concept, Jen, in my Life Design series here: http://www.startbeingyourbest.com/category/life-d...

But, you're very right: goals that require achieving tangible things aren't always about the things themselves, but what they represent. There may be many ways to achieve our goals. It requires us to work within the framework provided to us via the Ovarian Lottery to find how to get to where we want to go, and not allow others to dictate "Oh, you want that? This is the one and only way to get there, and if you don't do it this way, you're a loser". That statement is a clear fallacy.

By: carlsonjen

carlsonjen — Thu, 03 Sep 2009 15:54:50 +0000

Another thought-provoking post, Jason. Thank you! I think one thing I've experienced as I've watched my 7-year-old son grow up is to watch how children set goals/state desires and how that changes over time. As a 4-year-old, goals tended to revolve around security, happiness, companionship. As he's gotten older, he's started to impose grander ideas success, being not just a baseball player but the BEST baseball player, the KING of baseball! In that I see where my ideas of what was desirable began to change toward the impossible. As a woman, I feel like I've lived in a little bubble of hope that I could have everything: healthy, happy family; loving spouse; rewarding and valuable career; intellectual satisfaction; spacious and stylish home. I realize now that those goals really ARE unattainable for me (and, I'd hazard a guess, anyone else) but what do they represent? Health (got it, knock wood), happy family (ditto), loving spouse (you bet), societal acknowledgment and validation (well, that's one I need to parse out a bit more)…you get the idea. I think I am realigning my goals to be more elemental than tangible. I want goals that are consistent with my core values. But first, I have to be clear on what my core values are. It may turn out that something I thought was a goal was just not as important as I thought! Thanks again…good fodder for thoughts while I walk.

By: JS Dixon

JS Dixon — Thu, 03 Sep 2009 12:54:47 +0000

There is definitely an importance to not judging others by our own or especially by the media's interpretation of success. We do not know what their journey is about. I definitely hate it when people start off a conversation with "what do you do?", I've been looking for more creative answers, such as innovation.

The thing about meritocratic society being impossible once we have decided to not judge others by the medias or even our own standards is that if we relinquish the responsibility for who we are, than what is it that makes us not animals? Morality is only possible where there is a choice. Success is only possible where there is a difficulty. We definitely need to find our own personal answers for what success is, however, if I relinquish responsibility for who I am, than I would not be able to see the point in even trying to improve.

And to clarify we can do anything, just not everything.