From the category archives:

Success

Ed. Note – This post is written directly to me.  For every finger pointing at you, the reader, there are three pointed back at what has two thumbs and makes the same mistakes (“this guy!”).  Don’t get your feelings hurt ’cause I called you a doofus later on in the post.  I’m really calling myself that.  Okay?  Okay.  On with the rant…

I see junk like this post title all over the place on the “self-help”, “productivity”, “Zen-whatever” blogs that I’m (unfortunately) lumped in with as a personal development blogger.  Look, if you want to become an early riser, why do you need 5 days to do it?  Just set your alarm earlier the next day, and get up when it goes off.  IT’S NOT ROCKET SCIENCE, PEOPLE.

The problem is two-fold, as I see it.

First, people are weak.  We need to ssssssslllllllooooooowwwwwwlllllllyyyyy ease into a new frame of mind.  Why?  Just because bad habits supposedly take a long time to break?  They sure don’t take a long time to create.  You just make bad decision after bad decision until you’re to the point where you have no control over your actions.  “I’m a slave to my habits!” you say, then you throw up your hands and give up.

That’s crap.

Look:  everything you do, whether habitual or not, is a result of a choice that you’ve made, consistently and over time.  If you continue to make the same bad decision, it becomes easier to do.

You know how to stop?  Quit making that decision, moron!

Before it becomes a habit, you have to make a decision to do it EVERY SINGLE TIME.  Now, maybe the number of times to create a black tar heroin habit is less than picking your nose and wiping it on the bottom of a chair (you know you’ve done it), but you still made a choice at least once in every instance.

So own that sucker.  BE INTENTIONAL!  You made the mess by making choices; you can turn it around just as fast by making better choices.  You don’t need five days, or five years, or whatever.  Start doing it differently RIGHT NOW.

Of course, the resultant circumstances of your bad habits may not go away immediately.  If you’ve got a habit of sleeping till noon, you’re gonna feel tired when you set the clock for seven and get out of bed.  That’s life.  Don’t worry, it gets easier.  Just start doing it.

The second problem with these lame articles is “personal development” for its own sake.  Why is it assumed that “being an early riser” has intrinsically more reward for a person than does sleeping late?  Just because that’s the mold we’re supposed to fit in?  Because you might miss work or something?

If you’re doing something not to better yourself, but simply for the purpose of conforming (or “this is what Lifehackamabob.com [note:  not a real site... I don't think] said I needed to do”), then it’s not personal development.  It’s masochism.  You need to stop doing it, because the rewards don’t add up.

Consider the choices you’ve made and the habits you’ve developed.  What’s the TCO (Total Cost of Ownership)?  What do you get out of these habits, and what would you otherwise have if you didn’t have the habits?  If the cost isn’t that big of a deal (so you don’t get to see the sunrise… so what?), then don’t worry about it.  You’ve probably got enough habits that, if changed, would represent a gain in your life.

Don’t sweat the stuff that other people try to push on you as “lifehacks”, be they GTD, waking up early, polyphasic sleep, raw-food veganism or polyamory (all things I’ve seen recommended on “self-help” sites at one time or another).  Fix what needs to be fixed according to YOUR assessment of your life.

Whew… I feel better.

Photo “sleepy stash” courtesy: corrieb

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Photo courtesy alxpin/iStockPhoto

Ed. Note – Please see my site’s policy on book and product reviews here.  There are affiliate links in the following…

Just finished reading Linchpin, by Seth Godin.  Wow, what an amazing book.  And it dovetails nicely with what I’ve been talking about here lately:  telling a good story with your life.

What is a linchpin?  It’s a metaphor for someone who’s indispensable in an organization.  If they left, the group would fall apart because of what they bring to the table.

A linchpin is someone who isn’t content to march to the beat set out for them by the organization they’re affiliated with.  Oh sure, they’ll fulfill their duties.  They’ll just go BEYOND.  Far beyond what anyone ever expects them to do.  Because what they do ceases to be work.  It becomes art.

“Art, at least as I define it, is the intentional act of using your humanity to create change in another person”

-Seth Godin, Linchpin

When you create art, when you begin to tell a better story with your life (because creating a story is art, isn’t it?), you cease to be average.  You become extraordinary.  There are very few people willing to be as open and as raw as it takes to make art.  Art is about giving a gift that only you can give.

Making art makes you vulnerable.

Making art gives people an opportunity to belittle your ambition.

Making art requires courage and sacrifice.

That’s what you face when you make the commitment to tell a good story, after not telling one at all for so long.

Sure, you’ll face times when it’s tough, and when you doubt your ability to do what you’ve set out to do.  Not just in telling a good story with your life (although I’d argue that any time you try to do something awesome, you’re telling a better story), but in everything you do, in any aspect of your life.

“How do I know what art to make?  How do I know what gifts to give?  This is the crux of it.  Once you commit to being an artist, the question is an obvious one.  The answer is the secret of your success.  You must make a map.  Not someone else.  YOU.”

-Seth Godin, Linchpin

You have to strike out on your own.  By the very nature of what you plan to do, there won’t be a map or a blueprint of how to do it.  You have to break trail.  It’s going to suck, because you’ll feel lost and alone and very few people will understand what it is you’re trying to do.

No one said being a linchpin was easy.

But it’s worth it.  Tell your story.  Blaze a trail for others to follow.  Do what you were born to do.

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